Posts tagged jesus

I like people who realize the intenseness of their smallness.
People who watch the night sky, eager for the countless lights to shame them back to the depths.
People who like not knowing it all, for it means there’s plenty excitement to unveil.
People who think, hope, praise with an open mind, having a personal relationship with the cliché “nothing is impossible”.
People who know because of their insignificant smallness, their pride and image is, in fact, not important at all.
People who yearn to stay broken, humble, and low; to maintain a better view of the Lover of their soul.
I’m looking for the things, places, and faces that make me feel small. That’s where I’ll entangle my roots into the ground.

I think we’re doing something wrong. Actually, I know we’re doing a lot wrong. We know what we want, we know our way of getting it, and yet the execution of the plan doesn’t unfold the way we had envisioned. We’re not as high maintenance as people think! Our hearts aren’t as complicated as made out to be. Hormones don’t help our case, but I think we can agree that the needs of our hearts are few.
 

Here’s the deal: We’re walking around with broken hearts. And I know I’m not the only one who knows that it’s not necessary and is avoidable. (I know, it sounds like some kind of female-code-blasphemy to imagine.)

We all know how much faster we mature than guys. We know. It’s not a secret. And I find that as we follow Jesus and are in the Word, we slowly but surely learn what a Godly relationship is supposed to look like. And we want it. We want that husband that multiple authors of the Bible wrote about. So we look for that in the guys around us. This is where problems fly in like grenades, and with a rumbling explosion our hearts break. Now, I’m not picking on young men, they certainly make life… colorful. But they simply, for the most part, aren’t where we are. (On the plus side, they kill bugs and are about 30% stronger than us.) Simply put, a lot of them aren’t ready to want to be our Biblical hero husbands, and a lot of them simply don’t have what we’re searching for. YET. They’re growing a few steps behind at this age. They catch up though, Jesus told me.

Now, here’s the part you don’t want to hear: We’re growing still too. I resisted this for a while. I knew everything already, of course. But after we accept this, I find that so much more fulfillment and freedom will be found. The job of a guy’s spiritual growth is in the hands of our God and their parents. We can’t change em, ladies. And we’re not supposed to. It’s a humbling blessing if we do, but if we focused on planting ourselves in Christ and blossoming there, our hearts will be filled and comforted beyond the level any man could accomplish.

Trying to impress him with drugs, drinking, or sexual knowledge won’t get him to love you forever. Experience in the sheets won’t make him respect you more. If Cinderella could get her Prince Charming without taking her dress off, so can you. Swearing, listening to “cool” music, or taking him back after mistakes won’t guarantee you a ring on that finger. If anything, you can count on them starting to talk to someone else after you give them all that at this point in their maturity.
So, what would this one stumbling but striving Christian teenage girl do? Keep your body in your clothes, and let some Scripture out. You’ll weed out the losers from the winners in no time. Otherwise, it will be hard to do, and your heart will break more times than necessary. Most of us know guys are our weakness, and don’t believe for a second that just because we’re young Satan won’t use that against, ya sister.

Unfortunately, Prince Charming doesn’t ride up on a white horse when we sing enchantingly like in fairy tales. They’re not that easy to find, especially today. But they’re out there. When we follow Jesus, people who also want to live for Him, want a Godly relationship, and seek love forever will come into your life — in God’s perfect timing. And maybe, if you’re lucky, one will even ride in on a white horse.

She lied. She sinned. Ultimately, she broke hearts. The pain could have been reaped for years if we had let it. I didn’t think our friend ship would ever be the same. I found it essentially impossible to put trust in her words after viciously deceptive ones left that same mouth. Part of me would have rather not cared to try at all.

No matter how much I wanted to, forgiveness hardly appeared to be an option.

I was holding fast to a heart with clenched hands, suffocating it. I was what stood in its way of freedom. That breathless heart was mine. It was a captive to my fear of her lies that could resurface if I forgave her. Then I felt a whisper against my soul, what made me so much better than her? What made me the victim?

I thought of my Jesus, whom I claim to love. Putting work, chores, luxuries before Him — at that I am an expert. I read my Bible and cross it off my to-do list like it’s a burden. I find time for Him when He is always waiting expectantly for me to turn to Him, and always wanting one more sweet moment to spend with me. I wonder how many times a day I hurt His heart. I wonder how many times in my 16 years I have put pain in His eyes. I thought of all the times I had little affairs, choosing that song, task, word, or person before Him; just pounding that nail deeper into His hand.

Upon that I realized, finding forgiveness for her may not be so difficult after all.