I believe in arranged marriages. And I don’t believe in marrying for love. 

My Father picked a boy for me to marry before the day I was born. I had no say in the matter. I was to grow into a woman, and this boy into a man before He would tell us that we were created for each other. To this day my Father refuses to tell me about my future husband, but I’m alright with that. I have a lot to learn before my Father introduces us to each other. 

So you see, I won’t marry a man because I love him. I don’t believe that marrying for love is a good idea at all. To be blunt, I think it’s a stupid thing to do. When I marry a man, it will be because I hear God telling me too; it will be because I know that our marriage will impact the world; it will be because I know that coming together as one would bring God all sorts of glory. 

I was driving to class today when Andrew Peterson’s song “Dancing in the Minefields” came on the radio. I was lost in the beautiful words and acoustic strumming when a realization tugged at my heart: Some where along the way, we created the conclusion that marriage was supposed to resemble a fairy tale couple riding a white horse into the sunset. Now, I’m not and have never been married, but from what I’ve been taught, that’s not what marriage looks like – no matter how nauseatingly romantic your relationship is. 

Where in the Bible does it ever say that marriage was easy and was created to make us feel happy, secure, or good about ourselves? No where. This is because marriage isn’t for us, it’s for our God who loves perfectly. We get to receive a glimpse of how He loves us through marriages; we get the beauty of love in our lives; and we find a forever friend. But marriages are supposed to be used as a man and woman coming together to serve God in ways that they couldn’t serve Him apart from each other. 

Obviously love and marriage go hand in hand. 1John 3:16 says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” Jesus’ death for our sins was a love expressed through blood and tears and pain. Wow. Not exactly the heartwarming love we find in Disney movies. But you know, that’s the only kind of love that I want. Even if I never meet a man who loves me like that, one man already has two thousand years ago, and still does to this day. That is why I praise my Father for arranging my marriage, why I will marry for more than love.